On Growth
J.F. Quil
“I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent—no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.”— Seneca
The man in the picture proudly held his country's flag over his shoulder as the waters of the Mediterranean dripped from his clothes. He was standing on a beach in Alexandria, the coastal city of Egypt, beaming in shirt and trousers, for he had successfully walked over 3,700 miles along the Nile. The picture held a blissful moment, absent with the trials he endured, the distressingly demanding training, and the internal dissonance of what he would do should he keep facing significant setbacks on his journey. I could not contain my excitement; my leg bounced repeatedly, the librarian asked to stop with the pen-clicking, and I felt uncomfortable sitting in the air-conditioned library. I was anxious and eager to mimic the accomplishment.
It is safe to say that the idea to desire such daunting tasks was ludicrous, and at times, insane. Many seek such challenges, like learning how to play an instrument or walking the Nile River.
I remember admiring people of the sort and vicariously lived as someone who had accomplished what they have done. That was enough; I remember thinking, to feel what they must have felt at the finish line, even if I had nothing to show. It was a ridiculous and grandiose trait. However, when I faced real problems dwarfed by the trials of imagined triumphs, the man in the mirror could not save the day. It was a harsh realization and an ugly reality. Luckily, as the years and false self-expectations piled up, I read a question from a book that reconstructed the idea of what kind of a man I was going to become.
"What are you willing to struggle for?"
A person’s character is judged by the by the trials they have endured.
As strange as it may seem, those seven words had hit home. Inspired, I focused every hope and effort of a better future into one focal point; growth. Before, I did not comprehend nor accepted past struggles. It was not only until later that I learned that the worst days I have ever had, established the foundations of the best moments of my life. Suffering for growth, no matter the medium, prompted a personal understanding of the modern world. It cultivated three life-defining ideologies; always seek new experiences, find the limitations, and accept whatever the outcome — all equally important, all working off one another. I wanted to feel a great sense of accomplishment, like the heroes of old and new, and I was willing to do anything and everything to taste at least a drop of it.
"Experience is the best teacher," was the universal saying. The truth of the quote lies within the person but holds most of the reality we face. For example, can someone learn how to set up a tent? Of course, a video can teach that. Can a person instinctively know how to do the same thing during a torrential downpour? At night? Maybe not, but they will by the morning after. Some individual experiences and skills are only attained by arming ourselves with what we can and putting that knowledge to use—whether it is on our terms or not. Remember, a person's character is judged by the trials they have endured. Developing a need to prove something and pursuing it cultivates familiarity with the task at hand, but it can also lead to an understanding of personal capabilities. Most importantly, it encourages you to stand tall and ready at any starting line, eager to find out what you are made of.
Can someone know their breaking point without action? Sometimes. At the same time, how can a person find out how fast they can run a mile? The answer is evident. The same goes for our lives, be it professional or personal. "Stepping out of your comfort zone" is a bit of ubiquitous advice but one of the finest nonetheless. Because even though staying in our comfort zone feels good, it will always lead to dissatisfaction. Always. That negative feeling will rattle our thoughts and find its way to our habits.
Finding our limitations on whatever dimension, be it a skill or an artistic trait, can write the overall dynamic of what we can offer to the world. It will always be uncomfortable and sometimes unbearable. However, that is the defining factor of what is achievable. It is important to know that a limitation does not necessarily mean the end of the road. Instead, it is the reminder of how far one could go, and act as a new baseline, should the situation allow it. Now, will triumph always meet us at the edge? No. However, like another endlessly quoted advice, "sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn."
The result of our endeavors does not always paint a warm pacific sunset. Instead, mistakes are thrown at our faces. We roll back downhill, bruised and kneeling, back at the starting line. This area of struggle will always be where it will hurt the most. Our attempt will have felt useless, and, worst of all, we will feel undeserving of the trophy at the summit. Be that as it may, that is not the case. This setback cannot occur without a small victory. Falling back, we attained a new and profound line of sight of all the different ways to get to the summit. Though it may take more time and effort, the first, second, or one-hundredth time have only redefined the threshold, exercised the current skillsets, and provided first-hand accounts of what worked and what did not. Denying the bad does not remove its existence. It balances the good that will come out of it too. If we can welcome the idea of success, then we must also accept that sometimes there is still much to learn. As long as we reorient and keep trying, we can find ourselves farther than we thought possible and closer than we could ever imagine.
In conclusion, growth is an inevitable effect of the passage of time, so we must shape it to be beneficial to our ambitions. No incredible feat comes without any struggle. The key is figuring out what is worth our suffering. Whether it is learning a new skill or expanding tradecraft to new levels, growth is the byproduct of seeking out challenges, discovering new capabilities, and learning from the experience's outcome. We must never stop the pursuit of self-improvement, for we are unconditionally defined as the product of our environment.